Monday, May 09, 2011

Letting go...

I remember clearly the day we brought Gabriel home. I'm positive I didn't sleep that night, because I was so worried that he'd stop breathing. He was so tiny and perfect and a huge answer to prayers.

But even with all the concerns I felt that night and in the coming weeks on being a new mom, there was one thing that never crossed my mind. And that was the idea of one day letting go.

Fourteen years later, I'm certainly not ready to let go of my children, but I realized clearly this past weekend that letting go begins long before they walk out the door for collage, their first apartment, or even down the isle.

My youngest turned ten this past month and for his birthday, he asked if he could learn to dive. Still young enough to snuggle, but now old enough to learn to scuba dive. I wasn't ready. You can't imagine (or maybe you can) the fear that passed through me as I sat on the boat with my three kids beneath me in the sea as the younger two dived for the first time. It didn't matter that there were a number of dive masters below with them, watching their every move. These are my babies. And yet, not so much babies anymore. Thankfully, the scenery was so stunning that I was able to stay distracted. At least a little bit.

I'm slowly learning to let go, with a heart full of prayers that they will continue to learn and grow in the coming years...and never be too old to snuggle and sometimes, to even let me call them my baby.

Enjoy the family and friends around you today.


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